do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Randomize
