i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
