I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My bed smells like the plague
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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