Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
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He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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