I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
