Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
