We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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