I am in a vortex of obligation.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat