A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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