grinding to god bless the USA? really?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
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Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
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When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.