If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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