I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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