going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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