I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He passed out mid-signature
Are my feet made of real feet?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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