he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
