Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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