Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
