btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
