I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
