Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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