Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
