She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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