next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
