i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
