i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
