so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
