i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
