She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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