so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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