just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
