the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
