Actions speak louder than pants.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
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Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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