I'd wear matching sweaters with you
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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