____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
