can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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