I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
