Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
