Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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