oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
