Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
