I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
