You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just blew my weed a kiss
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
