I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize