When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize