How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
