Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
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My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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