I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
