3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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