Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
