Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
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