just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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