Your tits are I can't wait for
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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