oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
