My pussy is not your playground.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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