i barfeds in our rink
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just found puke in my bra..
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
