I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
how does that bad decision feel?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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