sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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