I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
