guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
