So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
