Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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