Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
