Pappa wants mamma naked
they need to just BURY HIM!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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