There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
