is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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