I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
