this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
They took my balls.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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